What I want....

...endless love.
You think it's possible in this life?

Art by:
http://binjoo.deviantart.com/art/Endless-Love-42497024

Life is just a game. I don't control my moves. There is someone playing my character and I am at their mercy. They do with me what they will, throw me here, throw me there. They sit and watch my pain, they laugh at my tears. The give me highs, but makes sure that the lows are bad enough that I forget the highs. It's all a big joke. There is no way out. They preprogrammed you with so much guilt that the ability to make decisions based on what you truly want is cut out from you. You do things because you have to, not because you want to. You live the life they chose for you. And the life just goes on & on. No matter how you beg to be let out, to be give a different path they don't listen. They are laughing to hard to even hear you. This is not living, I'd rather not be. Yet, I can't find the exit door. I have been made to feel that even the thought of that exit door is a huge no no. What can I do? I am trapped & life is just getting worse and worse.

Art by:
http://soulangel506.deviantart.com/art/live-by-the-game-77790939

I don't want to lose you...

I am steeling myself for your reaction. I want to believe in you & trust that some how you will still be there, but I have to accept that this is most probably not the path you will take.

I will lose you.
I wish it didn't have to be this way.

Pic by:
http://niavaah.deviantart.com/art/To-not-lose-you-52168504

“Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.”

“No one can possibly know what is about to happen: it is happening, each time, for the first time, for the only time.”

James Arthur Baldwin

Art by:
http://wcs-wildcat.deviantart.com/art/love-s-endless-refrain-77930865

You make my day...

Photo by:
http://cralos.deviantart.com/art/Was-blind-but-now-I-see-you-66717074

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I give much more than I ever ask for...

I don't wanna be adored
Don't wanna be first in line
Or make myself heard
I'd like to bring a little light
To shine a light on your life
To make you feel loved
No, don't wanna be the only one you know
I wanna be the place you call home
I lay myself down
To make it so, but you don't want to know
I give much more
Than I'd ever ask for
Will you see me in the end
Or is it just a waste of time
Trying to be your friend
Just shine, shine, shine
Shine a little light
Shine a light on my life
Warm me up again
Fool, I wonder if you know yourself at all
You know that it could be so simple
I lay myself down
To make it so, but you don't want to know
You take much more
Than I'd ever ask for
Say a word or two to brighten my day
Do you think that you could see your way
To lay yourself down
And make it so, but you don't want to know
You take much more
Than I'd ever ask for

Waiting for better day...

What a sad world we live in. A world in which you get mowed down simply for being the wrong spot at the wrong time. Where has the value of human life gone? How can we be so unconcerned about the fate of others. When did we allow the kill of thousands for gain on a daily bases to becomes so common to use that we no longer feel any pain or sorrow? I try not to read the news, because all it does is depress me, but it's like being an ostrich. I don't wanna just hide & pretend it will all go away. I know it won't & sadly I know it will only get worse. Why, of all the paths set before us, must we always chose the paths that, in the end, cause the most pain & suffering. Man will never learn from history & yet they say we are getting smarter. If this is the smarter I'd rather be simple.
1Corinthians:
26 For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called:
27 But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;
28 And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are:
29 That no flesh should glory in his presence.

Why wasn't I told?!

My Parents

A friend recently told me "I believe in life we are each given certain gifts. One of your gifts is your parents."
He is a very wise man!!!
Through all my tough times, no matter what crazy ---- I have throw at them, they have always been there for me & supported me.
I recently handed them something that could have been the finally throw, but no after a few moments of totally shocked surprise, they were 100 percent behind me again.
This wise man also told me "There are only 2 forms of pure love in this world. The love of your parents & the love of a child."
I have been very lucky in the first!!!
Love you Dad & Mom. I couldn't make it without you both.

Why I love them!!!

Wish I could skip ahead...I need to see!

Jesus: A calendar is often used to help remind you of special events or happenings, important appointments, and can even be used as a basic master plan of happenings in your life. I have a specialized calendar for you alone, and I’m filling in the squares not only with My plan and timetable, but also with the answers to the secret desires of your heart. The calendar of your life is full of unique, memorable, and life-changing events. There’s not a day that I haven’t planned to perfection.

I know that you sometimes wonder about some of the events that I have planned in your life, or that I have planned in the lives of others around you. You wonder if these were truly good things, or whether I overbooked or overlooked some pivotal details. But, My love, I do have a reason for all that I do, although there will be many things that you’ll need to wrap up in a bundle of faith and trust.

So if your current month seems gray and bleak, if I were to skip ahead to the future and show you what is planned, you would clearly see that these seemingly dark and difficult days lead up to bright, warm, sunny days, and that what you will gain through it all will be priceless.

So don’t be afraid of letting Me plan and fill in the calendar of your life. The best things happen to those who trust Me completely, and who happily flow with what I have planned.

“If only you knew he loved you, you could face the uncertainty of whether you love him.”


“Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don't let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity.”
R. I. Fitzhenry

I could have loved you once
And said it
But then you went away
And when you came back
Love was a forgotten word,
Remember?

-- Marilyn Monroe.

Art By:
http://aixado.deviantart.com/art/Pudor-104023157

Me to the T...

"Are you, by any chance, angry with me?" he asked.
"Nope. Never for long. Frequently puzzled. I'm well endowed with confusion, badly off for anger."she replied.

...never angry for long, but confused and puzzled long after.
Just explain; if you can.

By:
http://etoil3.deviantart.com/art/Puzzled-55669224

Who says it was a mistake after all?!

So, I made a mistake...I think I have done enough self reproaching, self hating & plane old freaking out. Time to accept it, be happy & move on. Who cares what anyone else thinks or feels about it. It's my life & I shall not let others ruin it. I embrace this change & shall look forward to a new experience! God give me the grace!


Art by:
http://pspmistress.deviantart.com/art/Step-Forward-Take-Courage-11107203

I don't want to walking into the future. I am scared of it.

I don't want to stay where I am, because I am too unhappy.

They say entertaintment means "away from thinking; diverting the mind"....

I am living off entertainment. I don't want to think.

If I start thinking I'll never stop crying.

M.C.

Photo by:
http://orevivre.deviantart.com/art/stop-crying-stop-thinking-102550866

I need you...

Photo by:
http://vixrayne.deviantart.com/art/I-need-you-70647769

Fragile