Margaritaville

I really didn't think things could get worse. I guess I never thought that this would be something I would have to deal with. I do believe the only way I will get through it is to not believe in it. I refuse to believe they are right. I am okay. The body does strange things sometimes, but the body is strong. It can and will heal its self. Think of me in your prayers...if I ever need all the help I can get it's now.

How I feel...

Why men are never depressed!

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care
of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You
can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can
wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world
is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom
because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which
way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when
you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own
jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If
someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than
enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to
see wrinkles in your clothes.. Everything on your face stays its original
color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to
shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes --
one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice
concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.

Story of My Life!

Can't help feeling slightly betrayed. Knew you were going to go the way you did & had prepared myself for it. Sure my heart is not hurting, but my head feels fucked. Talking with you & you carrying on as if you did absolutely nothing wrong...having the balls to tell me "I like you a lot." Just stuff it!
How glad I am I didn't trust you or believe in you. You prove to me once again the sanity in my opinions of your kind. I wish you hadn't. I wish you had proved me wrong. I hope I find someone who will someday. Someone who will blow all my theories and opinions away & do the unexpected. Is it possible?....

Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping… waiting… and though unwanted… unbidden… it will stir… open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us… guides us… passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love… the clarity of hatred… and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion maybe we’d know some kind of peace… but we would be hollow… Empty rooms shuttered and dank. Without passion we’d be truly dead. –Joss Whedon

The day is cold and dark and dreary;
It rains and the wind is never weary;
The vine still clings to the mould'ring wall,
But at ev'ry gust the dead leaves fall,
At ev'ry gust the dead leaves fall.
And the day is dark and dreary.

My life is cold and dark and dreary;
It rains and the wind is never weary;
My thoughts still cling to the mould'ring Past
But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast,
The hopes of youth fall thick in the blast,
And the days are dark and dreary.

Be still sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary,
Some days must be dark and dreary.
Henry Longfellow

“Sometimes our fate resembles a fruit tree in winter. Who would think that those branches would turn green again and blossom, but we hope it, we know it.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“For this is wisdom - to love and live, To take what fate or the gods may give, To ask no question, to make no prayer, To kiss the lips and caress the hair, Speed passion's ebb as we greet its flow, To have and to hold, and, in time let go”

“Fate is like gravity. You can jump up and down until your heart’s content, but the earth still falls into the sun, and the sun still courses through the galaxy, both indifferent to your short-lived and insignificant defiance.”

It is...

"If you have no intention of loving or being loved, then the whole journey is pointless."

I think one of the secrets to happiness in life is not allowing your happiness to be in another. When you allow another human to influence your mood, your day, your feels etc. you are setting yourself up for a let down. Those closest to us or those we care the most about are those who generally cause us the most grief. I know that to have feelings is what makes us human, but to let another human inspire such ups and downs in us can't be right.
I thinking I am getting good at not expecting anything from others. I am learning to just take what comes, to expect that as a human they will fail me at some point. Cynical, I know, but it's the only way I can keep making it.

Pretend...

All the pictures I use, I looked to see if they asked it not to be posted without permission. I was told by someone on dA that if people didn't specifically ask for a photo not to be reposted, as long as, I linked the picture back to them it was okay. If I misread and you don't want you picture up please do tell me. I am not claiming any of them as mine, the only reason I use pictures is because they express so much better what I am trying to say.
Sorry...just let me know!

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep.