It's because you know...you're sooo unhappy.

To simply believe...

At some point you hope you realize no amount of tears will make anything better.

And yet you cry.

"It is not difficult to deceive the first time, for the deceived possesses no antibodies; unvaccinated by suspicion, she overlooks lateness, accepts absurd excuses, permits the flimsiest patching to repair great tears in everyday life."-John Updike

Everyone wants to know why I won't let you go. Well the truth is, I know that if I walk away, you won't come after me.

Mayhap one person could be enough and bring you happiness.

Love is like dominoes: I fall for you, you fall for another...

But there's a side to you that I never knew
All the things you'd say, they were never true
And the games you'd play, you would always win

So lonely and in need of someone to talk to. So much I need to say to someone who will just listen and I have no one. Sure, I know lots of people, but I some how I got so out of touch with them all that I find suddenly I am alone. Surrounded by people; yet alone.

Image by: http://www.flickr.com/photos/thinkless/4239530041/

Am I destined to sorrow all my life?

Shall I never be able to taste quietly the joys of being loved?

I'm disgusted with myself for giving into you. I hate myself for being so weak. I know exactly the kind of person you are and that you think with that smile of yours I will forgive and forget everything. Sorry, I am not that kind of person. I can't forgive or forget, because you are not a person to be trusted. Sadly, you will go through life the same way, you won't change and I can't be happy with someone like that. Life is to short to be with some one who plays games and thinks it's alright to be with more than one person. So you're not doing anything, but the intent is there. You just keep on lying to yourself and thinking you are a good person. I know you though!

I know your secret and it saddens me.

A Gray Mood..

"It Might Have Been"

We will be what we could be. Do not say,
"It might have been, had not this, or that, or this."
No fate can keep us from the chosen way;
He only might who is.

We will do what we could do. Do not dream
Chance leaves a hero, all uncrowned to grieve.
I hold, all men are greatly what they seem;
He does, who could achieve.

We will climb where we could climb. Tell me not
Of adverse storms that kept thee from the height.
What eagle ever missed the peak he sought?
He always climbs who might.

I do not like the phrase "It might have been!"
It lacks force, and life's best truths perverts:
For I believe we have, and reach, and win,
Whatever our deserts.

I've heard it all before!

You can never get something back when it's broken. You may receive parts, but it's never whole again.

We could have had it all...

Sometimes you can be hurt so bad you just never get over it.

There's always a little truth behind every 'just kidding.'

A little knowledge behind every 'I don't know.'

A little emotion behind every 'I don't care.'

A little love behind every 'I hate you!'

A little uneasiness behind every 'I'm okay.'

A little pain behind every 'forget it.'

A little fear behind every 'leave me alone.'

A little hope behind every 'goodbye.'

And a little 'something' behind every 'nothing.'

Here's to hoping, kiddo!

I knew in choosing you I was most likely choosing to be alone.

Alone, but with you.

I hope someday for both our sakes we find someone willing to look passed it all and just love us!

Sometimes we are less unhappy in being deceived by those we love, than in being undeceived by them.
Lord Byron

The night

Hath been to me a more familiar face

Than that of man; and in her starry shade

Of dim and solitary loveliness

I learned the language of another world.

Lord Byron

The only thing more impossible than staying was leaving.

“When I consider life, 'tis all a cheat. Yet, fooled by hope, men favour the deceit; trust on, and think to-morrow will repay: to-morrow's falser than the former day.”

“'Tis my opinion every man cheats in his own way, and he is only honest who is not discovered”

Susannah Centlivre

Wear what you want when you want. Life is too short to care about what others think!

Kid: "Baby, baby, baby, OOH!"

Dad walks in: "are you fucking listening to Justin Beiber agaaaaaain ??"

Kid "No, no i am watching porn!!!"

Dad: "OH, THANK GOD!!!"

Double Picture Illusion

You saw a couple in an intimate love position, right?

Interestingly, research has shown that young children cannot identify the intimate couple because they do not have prior memory associated with such a scenario.

What they will see, however, is nine (small & black) dolphins in the picture!

So, I guess we've already proven you're not a young innocent child. Now, if it's hard for you to find the dolphins within 6 seconds, your mind is SO corrupted that you probably need help!

OK, here's help: look at the space between her right arm and her head, the tail is on her neck, follow it up. Look at her left hip, follow the shaded part down, it's another one, and on his shoulder..

http://www.123opticalillusions.com/pages/double-image-illusion.php

You think you know what love is, but it's just an illusion.

You get to this point where it's no longer good, but for some reason you stay there. Fear of what's ahead. Fear of letting go. Fear of looking back and having to say you wasted so much time. Fear that you will not find something better. So many fears and yet sometimes enough should just be enough.

Little Man - Snotr

Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman,

but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man.

Love is sweet, but it cannot change a mans' nature.

Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars (2007 version)

If I can't get past this how can we move on?

I just can't forget and forgive....but I'm trying.
Am I making a mistake?

Pic by: http://www.flickr.com/photos/benhusmann/4491204615

Have a little patience...

...the heart is slow to mend and some things it may never heal from.

To be loved unconditionally
To be loved for who you are
To be loved completely
To be loved without lies
To be loved without mistrust
To just simply be loved...
Is this to much to ask?

Can you relearn to trust or once this has been destroyed is it all over?

When it's good, then it's good, it's so good, 'till it goes bad..

Till you're trying to find the you that you once had.

Your sweet notes are deceiving.

You destroyed my world and I can't seem to rebuild it.

My heart hurts a little more each day. I know you don't even realize it..but you're hurting me. Please stop!

You wondered how you'd make it through. I wondered what was wrong with you. Because how could you give your love to someone else, yet share your dreams with me? Sometimes the only thing you're looking for, is the one thing you can't see.

I thought when love for you died, I should die.

It's dead.

Alone, most strangely, I live on.

~Rupert Brooke

Your trust is something very few people you met in life will actually deserve, but the ones you can trust are worth hanging on to.

I learned a lot last week. Some I wish I didn't have to, but about myself I learned a lot of good things. I am stronger than I thought I was. My attitudes are not determined by others. I have a very generous heart. I believe that humans fail and expect it of them, not in a bad way, but in a way that makes me able to understand the mistakes of others. I know I deserve better and I plan to endeavor to find that better. I learned to not look into the future. Let what comes comes, and just enjoy the simple things of life. Family is always going to support you. I am happy. I should be devastated and right now I should hate men, but I am not. I am looking with hope to the future and finding joy in unexpected places. Thanks for being there for me.

He may love you with his whole heart, just remember, his dick is not connected to his heart.

I don't think I can take much more.

Vague sound of rain

pierces through my song again

but I get distracted by the way his toes move when he plays

so I let it burn

I just poured my heart out

there's bits of it on the floor

And I take what's left of it and rinse it under cold water

And call him up for more

And I say baby, yes I feel stupid to call you, but I'm lonely

And I don't think you meant it when you said you couldn't love me

And I thought maybe if I kissed the way you do, you'd feel it too

He said I'm sorry

so sorry

I'm sorry

so sorry

He grabs my wrists

as my fingers turn into angry fists

and I whisper why can't you love me, I'll change for you

I'll play the part

Just a foolish girl wanting to believe.

How?

I wish I could have been happy the first time I heard about you. If I could go back and change it I would. Though if I was back at the same spot I would react the same again. Sorry. How was I to know you would turn into something so wonderful. I love you!

Photo from:

http://blissinimages.files.wordpress.com

When I see you, the world stops. And all that exist for me is you and my eyes staring at you. There’s nothing else. No noise, no other people, no thoughts or worries, no yesterday, no tomorrow. The world just stops. And it is a beautiful place, and there is only you.